three genderqueers walk into a bar

[msglam]

Sadde opens the door to her apartment after an uneventful day out patrolling and...

...that's not her apartment.

A few competing hypotheses run through her mind, and the winner is "some sort of bizarre Shaker power."

So she-

Comments

[mxglam]

-suits up and walks into the bar. They look around at the patrons, who seem to not be freaking out, even if they're not the most normal list of patrons one could hope for. People dressed in various ways, from various time periods or fantasy worlds, with various make up and hairstyles.

This is a weird shaker power.

Glam scoots over to the counter behind which no one seems to be giving anyone any drinks, and watches as one mysteriously appears in front of one of the patrons.

And then a napkin, informing them of the end-of-the-universe-ness of this bar and a few other useful properties it has.

And Glam being Glam, having an excited discussion with the napkins will be the state they'll be found in for the next while.

[alicornucopia]

There's a lull in traffic; eventually Glam's the only person in the bar.

A girl in the most artistically applied eyeshadow and reddest fuck-me lipstick ever - and a really expensive-looking dress which doesn't quite fit - walks in, looking over her shoulder, and only turns her head when the door has shut. She looks confused.

[mxglam]

Glam has barely noticed the lull in traffic, engrossed in conversation, but they do notice it when they realize they can hear the door in spite of the hubbub, which is nonexistent. They look at the girl and blink. "Hello," they call.

[alicornucopia]

"Hi? Um. Where am I?" she says. Very quietly.

[mxglam]

"Milliways, the bar at the end of the universe! Except there are, apparently, several more of those than I'd expected, wouldn't you know it, and the bar doesn't know which universe she's at the end of. The bar's sentient, by the way, she talks via napkin."

[alicornucopia]

"...how?"

[mxglam]

"Uh, to which part?"

[alicornucopia]

"The - more universes. And the sapient bar."

[mxglam]

Shrug. "Some form of meta-physics, and lots and lots of magic."

[alicornucopia]

"...is it safe in here?"

[mxglam]

"Yeah, the bar makes sure no one suffers non-consensual damage. Also time's paused wherever you came from for as long as you're here."

[alicornucopia]

"Oh. Well, that's nice. Why was it here?"

[mxglam]

"It seems to hijack arbitrary doors from arbitrary universes at arbitrary points in time so that interesting people will find them." Another shrug.

[alicornucopia]

"Interesting people?" She looks at herself.

[mxglam]

"Yup! So by whatever unfathomable processes apparently the door thinks you and I both are that. Since it picked me, it's probably at least somewhat well-calibrated, so you must be interesting too. And your first drink's free, by the way, but subsequent ones cost appropriate prices according to wherever you're from."

[alicornucopia]

"Okay..." She approaches the bar. "I don't think I'm really interesting though. ...Raspberry bubble liqueur?"

She gets a drink. She sips it and looks surprised.

[mxglam]

"Well, why don't you tell me about yourself and then I'll try to take a stab at figuring out why it thinks you're interesting?"

[alicornucopia]

"Uh, my name's Ens. I don't do very much... I go to school and I had my birthday a while ago so now I own some buildings because my family is stupidly rich but I don't really do anything with them because I don't know what I would do... I'm good at makeup, I guess."

[mxglam]

"Yeah, I can tell. I'm-"

[msglam]

"-Sadde, I'm a superhero, the things I do are school and work and fighting supervillains. Or, well, I will, as soon as I find some to fight."

[alicornucopia]

"Fighting supervillains?" says Ens.

[msglam]

"Other people with superpowers whose goals and slash or actions are somewhat less than savory."

[alicornucopia]

"Are superpowers like magic, or... would you not know, or what."

[msglam]

"We don't have actual magic where I'm from, except certain kinds of superpowers look a lot like magic. Um, they're basically magic, though. Mine's conjuring things." She demonstrates by making a ping-pong ball appear in her hand.

[alicornucopia]

"Oh. My boyfriend's a mage. A water mage."