three genderqueers walk into a bar

[msglam]

Sadde opens the door to her apartment after an uneventful day out patrolling and...

...that's not her apartment.

A few competing hypotheses run through her mind, and the winner is "some sort of bizarre Shaker power."

So she-

Comments

[msglam]

"I'm Sadde, she's Ens."

[summa_iniuria]

"Elizabeth. Pleased to meet you both."

[msglam]

"So what's your story? I have superpowers, she has incredible make up skills and is from a world with a bunch of different weird magic and her boyfriend has the water version of it, what about you?"

[summa_iniuria]

"Oh, I also have superpowers," she says. "What do yours do?"

[msglam]

"I can conjure things," she says, and once again is holding a ping-pong ball. "Pretty arbitrary things, they don't even need to actually exist or be all that physically possible."

[summa_iniuria]

"That sounds useful."

[msglam]

"It really is! And in my world people go out in costume to fight supervillains with superpowers. So, what are yours?"

[summa_iniuria]

"I'm the Vampire Slayer. Costumes not traditional."

[msglam]

"...that doesn't really mean anything to me. What's the Vampire Slayer?"

[summa_iniuria]

"One who slays vampires." She smiles. "Sorry. It's... a little difficult to explain."

[alicornucopia]

"What's a vampire?"

[msglam]

"Where I'm from, they're fictional, and what most of them have in common is needing blood to survive, having a negative relationship with the sun, being immortal unless killed, and being severely allergic to stakes to the heart."

[summa_iniuria]

"Mostly accurate," she says. "But they aren't at all fictional where I'm from. So at some point, someone decided that they needed a powerful champion to kill vampires and protect humanity, and for some reason they decided the champion should be a teenage girl, so now every time the previous Slayer dies a new teenage girl gets the superstrength and super combat skill and super upsetting prophetic dreams."

[alicornucopia]

"That's... that's weird."

[msglam]

"That's really weird. There's only one at any given time? Always a teenage girl? Just how many vampires are there?"