finding the way

[msmortal]

She's a four-year-old girl, and people (especially her Dad) insist she's a boy.

Not that she isn't sometimes. She is. But not today! Today she's a girl. And Dad keeps saying that's not true, that God made her body perfect and she shouldn't second-guess God's plan for her. God made her a boy, so she's supposed to be a boy. And on the one hand that kinda makes sense. God doesn't make mistakes, right? So if she were really a girl sometimes, then she'd... what? Her body would change, she guesses. But on the other hand, she knows she's a girl. She's a girl with a peepee, that's obvious. She'd prefer not having a peepee when she's a girl, but it's not the worst thing ever. And if God doesn't make mistakes, God also didn't make her feel like a girl sometimes on accident, right? It must be part of His (because God is always a He, even though God made everyone, boys and girls, in His image, he's always a He, Dad says) plan.

She tells Dad that, today, and Dad gets angry, and yells at her, and she doesn't know why he's yelling. It makes sense to her! But he won't explain why she's wrong, he's just yelling, Dad's so mean, she hates him, and she's not crying, shut up, you're crying!

And now Mum's coming and she's talking to Dad, and that usually makes Dad stop yelling and go away but he won't stop now and Sadde's angry and afraid and hurt and she's running away. A part of her thinks that it doesn't make much sense to run away, the park is pretty open and she can't really hide anywhere, and she'll have to go back because she'll get hungry (not now, though, she just ate a sandwich).

So she runs until she finds some bushes where she can hide, and she hides there, and she doesn't cry, and she spends a long time not crying. Mum and Dad don't come after her, though, and after she's done not crying she doesn't wipe her eyes and her nose, and she comes out the other way of the bushes she was hiding in.

And she's pretty sure that's not the park.

Comments

[msmortal]

"...I don't have Yellow's name. And I don't want it, unless you have a very compelling reason for me to get it. And anyway all of those things were things I was already going to do." She sighs and shakes her head and - has the second London gate settled yet? How about the first? "In any case I presume, then, that this is you suggesting I go to New York before trying another ten gates in various dark alleys and rooftops in London? And do you want to add an honesty order in there, to make sure I'm not lying to you? I'm not going to, but this is the one good use I can see out of this terrible system, is guaranteeing this kind of trust."

[imeanforever]

"You didn't get his name? You just injected him and didn't - I suppose that makes some sense."

No more settlings have occurred.

"If you'd like me to be assured of your honesty you can come up with a wording for me to use, but I don't require it as a basic safety condition right now. Oh - what's your nickname?"

[msmortal]

Then how about a third gate to yet another London alley? She has lived in London for a good while and she likes walking, she knows lots of those.

"I didn't, having his name wouldn't make him more my vassal than he already was and knowing it would make him a potential victim if I was captured. About the honesty order, it just sounds- productive, in a setting where two parties may not fully trust each other, to have this kind of order up. I'm not intending to lie or omit, it'd just be a token of good faith. And I've been going by Mortal." Which was originally due to lack of creativity but now has symbolic value - she is not a fairy, she is a mortal with everything that implies.

[imeanforever]

"Do you want to contribute to the wording for an honesty order or do you want me to make something up?"

No settle.

[msmortal]

"You're way better than me at creating good orders on the spot, apparently, I'd need to think about it for a while and it still probably wouldn't come out as good. Although I suppose it'd be a useful exercise for me to try to come up with phrasings and for you to criticise them, if you had a desire to help me patch that failing."

Fourth alley? London's big and she knows many alleys but she's kinda running out of them, and in any case she'll need to, like, find a hotel or a hostel or something.

[imeanforever]

No dice on the fourth, but the second one settles.

"All right. Do not lie to me unless intending the lie for an audience other than me, in which case clarify the lie to me privately at the earliest safe opportunity; do not tell me things in ways intended to get me to come to false or saliently incomplete conclusions, applying the same exception."

[msmortal]

...that's a strange feeling. She'll poke at it later.

"Okay. Can I order you same? And gates settled, by the way, so I guess I'm gonna go get coats - any preferences? I don't know how tall you are by the way, you're still invisible - and this could take as long as an hour."

[imeanforever]

"I come up to your shoulder. And I'll think about it."

[msmortal]

"...right. I'll go get coats, then."

[imeanforever]

"We'll wait."

[msmortal]

Off she goes for coats, then, one for each fairy. Good thing she has an international credit card. Well, three.

[imeanforever]

Fairies wait. Promise sends Yellow foraging. They eat.

[msmortal]

Sadde returns with two large enough coats a bit shy of an hour later.

[imeanforever]

"You should close that gate and any others that have settled," Promise says. It's not enforced.

[msmortal]

She closes that one and- have any others settled?

[imeanforever]

One more London one.

[msmortal]

Both are about equally close to small hotels, so she closes that and says, "Let's go to the mortal world, then?"

[imeanforever]

"Which coat is mine?"

[msmortal]

She takes one from the plastic bag and hands it to- the air.

[imeanforever]

It is plucked from her hand and draped around a form and disappears into it.

Yellow comes forward for the other.

[msmortal]

And she hands him the other.

"I should probably go first and book a room somewhere before coming to get you. ...I wonder if the walkie-talkie works through the gate."

[imeanforever]

"You didn't test that?"

[msmortal]

"No, no one to test it with, the walkie-talkie has a maximum range and my mother's not supposed to know where my gate is and this'd be relevant information."

[imeanforever]

"Worth checking now, then," yawns Promise's voice.

[msmortal]

She rescues the walkie-talkies from her backpack again, puts one on the floor, goes through the gate - no one there, dark and late, good - and tries speaking through it: "One two three testing." Then back again to fairyland.