behemoth, meet the opposition

[mrglam]

Sadde doesn't seem quite able to focus on homework at the moment. He's fidgeting, and sometimes stares off into space for long periods of time before James has to snap him out of it.

Comments

[mrglam]

"Is that... the kind of thing you tell him by email? I mean, I don't know much about your relationship with him - totally one of the questions in my list of personal questions, by the way - but it sounds like the kind of thing people prefer to tell in person?"

[thinkering]

"We will certainly talk about it in person, but I don't see anything wrong with a written heads-up."

[mrglam]

"...alright. Will this first in-person conversation be just you and him or will it double as a presenting-the-boyfriend thing, given that there's a heads-up already? I mean he knows me already, I guess, but. Also is he likely to react to the I'm-not-always-a-boy thing?"

[thinkering]

"He already knows you're not always a boy, I will clarify how that interacts with me being straight if he's curious but I bet you he won't be, and I was planning to wait to discuss you in person until we're home and I can include my mom. Who I don't usually discuss in costume, I like to leave it ambiguous whether she's even alive."

[mrglam]

"That was one of the other questions, yes, but let's get to that in a second, I want more info here. How does your straightness react to the gender thing, exactly? I mean, I kinda vaguely gestured and indicated not-a-problem at the start and then I guess today banished any doubts it would be, but in what ways is it not a problem?"

[thinkering]

"I mean, I don't want to kiss you when you're a girl? You were not a girl when we were kissing."

[mrglam]

"...well, alright, then."

And Sadde makes a face at her that she may or may not recognize as his 'I want to kiss you right now' face.

[thinkering]

"It's possible I'll wind up slipping into - careless brain habits and default to thinking of you as a boy at any time you are not actively being a girl right in front of me," she says. "I don't know how big a problem that is; it's not likely to emerge in how I talk, I've been policing that since I found out who my dad was."

[mrglam]

"I need to start carrying like a notepad or something with me to keep track of all the questions I want to ask," he comments lightly. "I don't particularly mind if you think of me as a boy more often than a girl or an enby, brain habits aren't horrible. And besides, I've kinda spent the past few months trying to be boy or enby more often than girl around you in hopes that my cute face might nudge you in the right direction."

[thinkering]

"I noticed that, actually."

[mrglam]

"Did it help?"

[thinkering]

"Some."

[mrglam]

"Yaaaaay!" He twirls in the air a bit, hugging his shoulderbot.

[thinkering]

"Was it - I don't know, hard?"

[mrglam]

"Hmm... Nnnnot exactly. When I was feeling particularly not-a-boy I went in costume. Except sometimes when I knew it wouldn't be too long, like just before the fundraiser, a few minutes as a boy when I'm not a boy doesn't hurt. When I was feeling not-an-anything or boy, though, boy I was."

[thinkering]

"You did hang out here as a girl once or twice."

[mrglam]

"Yeah, mostly to, you know, make it less glaringly obvious, and mostly at the start. I think I haven't been a girl when it was just you around in a while."

[thinkering]

"Actually, once I noticed you were doing it I was surprised you were going to school as a boy. Although I suppose I don't know if it adds up at all, if having routine girl time when you weren't going to interact with me would compensate for routinely boy-ing around here."

[mrglam]

"I mean, I had to pick a single gender to be at school. When I was at Winslow I was both but looked mostly like it was just makeup and such, but here it'd be pretty obvious that the genderfluid kid enrolling in Arcadia at the same time the nonbinary superhero appeared was in fact said superhero. And it's not really having routine girl time, it's not- it doesn't really add up. I just sometimes feel like a thing, sometimes like another thing, sometimes like nothing, sometimes like a mix, and like I said I was almost never a boy around you when I was feeling not-a-boy, but I am a boy at school sometimes when I'm feeling not-a-boy, and otherwise I would be a girl at school sometimes when I'm feeling not-a-girl. So, uh, what I'm saying is that the loss in wellbeing would be the same either way, so I chose the one that would have the best expected returns. If I hadn't been crushing on you I'd probably have tossed a coin or something." Pause. "Uh, maybe something that's not directly obvious is that being Glam is good no matter what I'm feeling like."

[thinkering]

"Huh, I'd feel awkward about having a genderless costumed persona even though my costume's pretty ambiguous on its own."

[mrglam]

"I can't claim to understand this particular part of myself, no matter how much I've poked at it. I guess it's partly because I don't really see Glam as genderless, just as this mess of gendery wendery ball of stuff? If someone used 'they' at me when I was very clearly a boy or a girl, I'd be perfectly fine with that, too."

[thinkering]

"Gendery-wendery," snorts Lorica.

[mrglam]

"You know, it's what gender would be if you tied it around itself many times in five-dimensional non-Euclidean geometry."

[thinkering]

Giggle.

[mrglam]

He repositions himself so that it's like he's on a bed, resting his head on his crossed arms with his legs kicking in the air. "So, tell me about your- family? Mom? House stuff?"