find gainful employment

[mrmage]

The following day, Sadde goes to town at a reasonable time to buy a tiny cactus with some of the proceeds from his terribly tedious job, and sneaks it into the bag with his clothing he brings to Isabella's room. It is inside a cute little box, which he offers Isabella the following morning when she wakes up, saying, "Happy three-month anniversary!"

Comments

[mrmage]

"The internet wasn't helpful about kinky stuff? Color me surprised."

[eclipsi]

"Hey, usually the internet's helpful about everything!"

[mrmage]

"No, that wasn't sarcastic, I am actually surprised. Kinky stuff tends to be the internet's m.o."

[eclipsi]

"I found things but they didn't actually address my basic confusion. I found a blog post with a chart and it had three columns, like, 'here's a subby way to say this, here's a dommy way to say it, here's a nondynamic or neutral way' and like... it must be making a lot of assumptions about tone of voice or something."

[mrmage]

"Tone of voice?"

[eclipsi]

"I could totally say 'that feels good' without breaking presentation. So could a sub! I'm pretty sure the nondynamicism kink is not about that, though, so..."

[mrmage]

"Oh, yeah." Pause. "What were the dom and sub ways the website gave of saying that?"

[eclipsi]

"Oh, I don't remember, probably something like 'keep it up' and 'incoherent moaning'."

[mrmage]

"Yeah, that doesn't sound terribly helpful. I'm pretty sure all of those things could be said nondynamically."

[eclipsi]

"And yet it was completely devoid on information on how to do that, and while I'm not opposed in principle to kinking it up now and then I am strongly opposed to looking like an idiot."

[mrmage]

"Ma'am I am so incredibly head over heels for you I think you could be wearing a clown suit with a gibbon on your head and I wouldn't think you look like an idiot."

[eclipsi]

She kisses him. "And yet. I don't want to feel silly while I'm trying to get laid. It's kind of a moodkiller."

[mrmage]

"Yeah that's fair. But, um, what exactly is the underlying confusion?"

[eclipsi]

"Uh, same blog post that had the chart had a paragraph about how 'practically all your favorite activities are still available with a nondynamic twist!' and I don't know if they just have a really narrow range of favorite activities or what, but I can't think of a nondynamic way for oral sex to work, like, by default if nobody's tied up or anything I read it as a submissive act on the part of the giver? And all the variations that change that reading for me just flip it around."

[mrmage]

"Oh. Well. Um. It's not... necessarily a submissive act, like, going down on someone with enough... uh... 'oomph' that they can't very well do much more than moan, that could totally be dominant without anyone being tied up, right?"

[eclipsi]

"Like I said, there are variations that change that reading, being tied up is just the obvious one. But I'm not sure how you add enough oomph that it's not subby without adding so much that it's dominant."

[mrmage]

"Well, an example is, like, if both people are doing oral on each other it's pretty symmetrical isn't it?"

[eclipsi]

"I guess, but that just sounds really logistically complicated!"

[mrmage]

"It's not! I could show you- but well, anyway, there's also that. Like, you could add enough oomph that it's not subby while at the same time letting the, uh, taker, take some control? It's more, uh. Like, no one tells anyone anything, decisions are reached by consensus and phrased as suggestions and requests rather than orders and begging?"

[eclipsi]

"I'm familiar with the keywords. It just sort of fails to snap together coherently in my head. Also I don't know what you're thinking regarding taking control but if you grabbed my hair while I was going down on you I'd probably bite you."

[mrmage]

He winces in sympathy for his hypothetical self, but laughs a bit. "No, I don't mean grabbing hair. There's, usually, not any, um, hair grabbing. I mean, sometimes, but it's. Less. A thing."

[eclipsi]

She shrugs. "Then I continue not to have a mental picture! This is actually really difficult!"

[mrmage]

He spreads his hands a bit apologetically. "I have no idea how to explain it better without porn or actually showing you it, but you might feel silly and that'd kill the mood for you, apparently."

[eclipsi]

"I might get curious enough to look for porn at some point - maybe I'll send you to find me a good example, I didn't really have a good time looking for an instructional video for caning and that I felt a little more urgent about learning."

[mrmage]

"Not a good time? What was wrong with caning instructional videos?"